Coach Rahili

Here are all the reasons why I should not be the assistant swim team coach:

1. I do not know how to swim.

2. I do not know how to coach.

3. I can only attend two practices a week.

4. I do not know CPR.

5. I do not own a whistle.

I am confident I had a choice in this matter. I could have said no. But I did not. I really need the extra money, I do not mind hanging out with my friend Emma for a few hours, and I can get some cool coach nicknames. So I agreed. Also, the kids seem pretty cool. And really, how much can they annoy me? I mean, they are all under water.

So I have started compiling all the phrases I can shout at the swimmers.

“You come up for air when I tell you to come up for air!”

“Do what coach says.”

“You need to put on a swim cap.”

“Kick your legs!”

“You must wear a bathing suit.”

“Don’t embarrass me.”

“Swim faster.”

“Hold your breath.”

Suggestions are welcome.

There are several endeavors I have encountered in my life that I have been terrified of: teaching, tech at Crosspointe, leading a LifeGroup, going to dinner by myself, and a number of other things. However, I have managed to face them head on, stumble along the way, and eventually come out unscathed on the other side.

But this. Being a swim coach. I do not think I will be as successful.  I do not think I will learn anything. I do not think I will be helpful in any way when it comes to anything related to swim technique (if there even is such a thing). I can only swim enough to stay alive but I can name two actual swim strokes (breast and back, thank you very much).

Perhaps I can keep track of times? I am diligent with a notebook and a pen. I like charts. Perhaps that is my calling? All of this to say I am nervous, unprepared, and definitely out of my element.

I just hope I do not end up in the water.