So this week is the last week of work for me for the next two months. No more students, no more papers to grade, no more mindless meetings to sit through. Freedom. Freedom to sleep in, which I never really valued until I was forced to wake up at 5:15 every morning. Freedom to dictate when I’m going to eat lunch, instead of waiting for a bell to ring moving us along throughout the day like cattle. Freedom to hang with friends during the day, instead of being forced to reduce relationships to weekend appearances and random text messages. Ah, so nice to relax. And do nothing. For two months. Amazing.
But not only am I looking forward to lounging by the pool with a book and a remarkable playlist on the iPOD I am looking forward to reflecting on my first year of teaching. I have learned so many things about myself as I reflect on my first year. I am a tough teacher. I teach students how to write. I make them learn things like “bildungsroman” and that “a” and “lot” are two different words. I make them read things ranging from old, dead, white, guy writers to alive, young, black, female writers. I force them to learn vocabulary words other than four letter words that emanate from their mouths on an hourly basis. I try to teach them to see things through the eyes of an 8th century warrior, an American Revolutionary war hero, a man desperately in love with a woman he could never have, and a woman who voluntarily forces herself into seclusion in her bedroom. Sometimes they get it, sometimes they don’t.
So as I am cleaning out my files, I am going through and taking a mental inventory of the things that worked (
The Masque of the Red Death) and the things that didn’t (
The Autobiography of Ben Franklin). Also, I’m picking my favorites (so many, but my absolute favorite has to be
The Great Gatsby) and my least favorite (
The Devil and Tom Walker). I want to hone my teaching style. I want to correct the several mistakes I made this year and just become better at my job.
I also want to become a better Yearbook advisor. I want to take the skills I have learned over this past year and make next year’s book ever better than this one. I have learned so much from working with my expert Yearbook colleague, from the convention in St. Louis we travelled to last November, and from trial and error. We have already won one award for this year’s book and I can’t wait to see our book continue to improve.
This year has definitely had its ups and downs. From seeing my students really grasp the concept of what writing an essay really takes to seeing my new teacher friends being told they won’t return next year because of the massive budget cuts that are battering Durham Public Schools. From really feeling a part of a school to seeing students hauled off by the cops because they decided to cuss me out or get in a fight with a rival gang member. From watching the awe in a student’s face when they finally make that coveted “A” on an assignment to seeing a defeated student put their head down in frustration when they “can’t” get something.
I do know that a lot of things are out of my control. I can’t go home with these kids and make them study. I can’t make sure they have something to eat for dinner. However, I do know that I can give them the skills to have some success in life, whether they are going to a four year college or off to the work place. I teach them to write, think critically, and maybe even have some compassion for others. Even if they don’t realize it now, I taught them something this year. But they have taught me something too. They have taught me that I love my job. I love working with students. I love teaching them not only literature but real world experiences as well. I hope they know what they have done for me, for they have shown me what I am supposed to be doing with my life. I look forward to 29 more years of teaching, and learning.
