Universal Suffering

We forget how fortunate we are. So often we gripe about our finances, our friends, our jobs, our schoolwork, our relationships, and everything in-between. I quickly forget just how lucky I am to have the life that I have. Sure we all have hard times, but a lot of people have it harder than us. I realize just how trivial my problems are compared to what I watch on the news and read on the internet. My problems seem so overwhelming until I hear of the continued oppression of women in the Middle East, the Haitian people that are still left in strife after the earthquake, and the impoverished people in my own hometown.

No, my problems are not as big as those, but my problems are still real. It’s hard to just ignore my struggles and put them out of mind. I guess that is what bonds us all. Pain. Pain is a common thread, a link, throughout humanity. We all suffer. We all feel hurt, loneliness, and pain. Suffering doesn’t discriminate based on socioeconomic status or popularity. Pain welcomes us all. The thing is, we have to figure out how we’re going to handle it. Are we going to succumb to the destruction? Or are we going to fight back in any way that we can? I choose to fight.

One of my friends, Stephen, made a video about the pain in our own backyard, and how a group of people are trying to make a difference. Check it out: DRM.

You can't always get what you want.

I wanted to write this moving, powerful, soul shaking blog today. Well I wrote about 23,815 different things and they all crashed and burned. They were either boring, had no depth, or sounded like a five year old was blogging. So I’m just going to list random things that are on my mind, in no particular order. I cannot promise any amazing revelations, but I do know that this is one side of me. The side of me that is random, unorganized, and frenetic, with a touch of A.D.D.

I hate my cell phone. I had a great weekend. I spent $15 at Goodwill today and bought the coolest pieces for my bedroom art project that I’m working on. XBF, I hate it when I’m there but feel so much better afterwards. I have a countdown for the 30 Seconds to Mars show (13 days!). I only let certain people know everything about me. I still want that tattoo. I hate feeling helpless. You can’t take money with you when you go. I like cooking. I’m ready for school to be over. Every time I walk into Crosspointe I feel safe. Since my exams are over I actually get to read what I want to, not essays, quizzes, or journal responses. I love my friends. When I stop moving and actually have time to think about things I am conflicted, confused, and questioning a lot. In my dream home I want to have a room where the walls are lined with books, floor to ceiling. I want so much but am unsure if any of it will actually happen. I love getting mixed CD’s. I wear flats, heels hurt. If I see a “check all that apply” I check them all. I refuse to be put in a box.

You're hot then you're cold.

Hot, long days that seem to stretch on for eternity. Warm breezes whip through the trees and our hair. Vibrant green grass, cool blue water. Yeah, none of that is going on now. It’s ice cold; literally, there is ice on the ground. I’ve never seemed to fully grasp the concept of winter and why we have it around, but so be it. But my focus isn’t horrid, depressing, dead winter.

Hands down, summer is my favorite season. One, there is no school. Two, I can do anything I want with my time. There is no schedule to dictate when I have to do something. I have the freedom to whatever I want. I am grateful for my job during these few months because I have the luxury to establish my own schedule.

But in that vastness I am conflicted. There are so many things I want to do. So many opportunities to take hold of, and I’m uncertain about what each risk will bring. Last summer I did so many things that helped shape my faith, relationships, and passions and I want to continue on that path. I want to discover more about each of those and more. Summer opens up so many doors and I hope that I fully take advantage of all that summer has to offer. When Summer comes knocking I want to embrace him warmly and with a sense of rebirth. The only stipulation, I have to wait for summer to show up. And right now, who knows when that’ll happen.

Blog Challenge

I'm determined to blog more. I love writing but I find I've been writing in other places than my blog. Well now I'm writing across the board, journals, blog, Facebook, Twitter, etc. I've found this "random blog posts" site so some days I'll follow that, other days I'll write whatever I want. I can't promise I'll blog everyday or every week, but I'm shooting for every other week.

Up first: "15 facts about yourself." I'm diving in. Join me.

1. I'm doing the 365 Project. Check it out: http://365project.org/mrahili/365

2. I have 68 pairs of shoes.

3. I have great friends. No really, mine are awesome.

4. Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi is amazing.

5. I want a tattoo but I'm too scared to move beyond that desire.

6. I have a "Wicked Awesome" playlist on iTunes.

7. I could never get sick of reading.

8. Recently I became a Mac girl and I wonder why I didn't become one sooner.

9. I used to have three earrings in each ear.

10. My Mom is my hero, my inspiration, and the reason why I'm the person I am today.

11. I can't list my favorite bands, it depends on the day and my mood.

12. Dark nail polish always wins out over light nail polish.

13. I like how I write the letter "R."

14. Crosspointe feels like home.

15. If it were up to me the teacher dress code would be Vans/Converses, jeans, and a T-Shirt. I would probably have more street cred with my students if that actually happened.