"I'm Guessing This is Growing Up"

I’ve abandoned the 15-day blog challenge. It didn’t inspire me and stretch me in the way I thought it would. So I’m looking for another “Insert arbitrary number here” blog challenge in the meantime. But beyond that a lot of change has happened this week.

My brother graduated high school. I’m significantly older than Malik and I never imagined that he’d be big enough to go to college. In my head, I know everyone must grow up and morph into the person he or she is meant to become. But Malik can’t. He’s supposed to stay a baby, live at home forever, and always be my sweet, little brother. Now, I realize that some of those things will always be true. He will always be my little brother, he will probably act like a baby, and he might end up living at home again. But this is all happening too fast. I remember dropping Malik off for his first day of Kindergarten and now I had to watch him walk across a stage and grab his diploma.

But I think the reason why I’m so torn concerning this milestone event in my brother’s life is for selfish reasons. This event reminds me of how I felt when I was in his shoes. I was terrified of going to college but I was so thrilled to do anything I wanted. I felt scared and invincible at the exact same time. I wanted to do everything and thought that I actually could. I think I’m almost jealous of the fact that Malik has such opportunity in front of him. Would I want to go back and live in a dorm again? Heck no. But I think I’m coveting this new adventure Malik is embarking upon.

I am immensely excited and proud to watch Malik head off to Appalachian in the fall. I know he will create lasting memories, hopefully study hard, and form strong friendships. So I guess this new journey Malik is going on has ignited those dreams that I had when I was 17 and heading off to college. I guess it’s a bit of nostalgia, sorrow, and happiness that I’m feeling right now for my brother. I’m so happy for him and I hope he does feel like he can conquer the world. I know he will.